Eclipse Portal

First, I love astrology but I don’t much follow it as it can be over my head (ha!). I wholeheartedly believe in the wisdom and guidance astrology offers and I’m so thankful I was able to lean into the insight Astrologist Kari Samulels had to offer about this current Eclipse Portal. Oofta! Today is the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse (May 5th) and it marks the completion of the Eclipse Portal; which opened 2 weeks ago on the New Moon Solar Eclipse (April 20th). It was a doozy! You feel it too!? I went deep into my subconscious and drug up all this old gunk. I felt lost and disconnected and was reaching for ideas and new paths that could anchor me and bring me peace.

The honest truth is that all my reaching made it worse and intensified the discomfort. A familiar limiting-belief of the past surfaced and I was again swimming in the deception that I wasn’t enough. I know I’m not unique in this. This is a major source of human suffering. So I went through the painful and familiar process of trying to figure out how to make myself more: accomplished, academic and relevant. Sound familiar? The outcome was me becoming more and more disconnected from my Self/Truth/Knowing. Let’s just say I went down the “rabbit hole” searching for classes/trainings that would fix my feelings of inadequacy.

Fortunately, Kari Samuel sent out her May Astrology Forecast and I breathed a sign of relief and started to chill the F out. Once I was reassured we were in an Eclipse Portal and there wasn’t anything to do aside trust, listen and wait, I began surrendering and stopped looking to take action fueled from insecurities. I started identifying and witnessing behaviors that I am physically and energetically exhausted by.

You’ve heard our partners are our greatest teachers. So yeah, my husband typically only hears part of what I say and then tries to defend himself by saying I didn’t tell him. Umm, so yeah, I told him to get basil, parmesan and a lemon at the store. I’m then making pesto and there’s no lemon. I remembered exactly where I was standing in the kitchen when I said “lemon” yet he swore I never said “lemon”. Me being an Aquarius means I will not settle for anything but the ‘whole truth so help me god’ (exhausting). So I reenacted the whole conversation we had earlier in the day: I was standing here, you were there, you said, then I said, etc. The best I got from him was, “hmm, I can’t say 100% that you said lemon”. I then erupted. I got so angry that he told me I was gonna die of an aneurism. Geesh. The problem wasn’t his unwillingness to see the truth or inability to listen, it was my reaction. I grew up around a lot of anger and it was expressed much more than love. I’ve told myself I’m different because I give so much love and I’m fighting for the truth after all. Me oh my! We all know where fighting for truth has gotten humanity: many wars and the loss of many lives, all for a ‘justified’ cause.

A few mornings ago I drew a Goddess card to illuminate this time. Kali was drawn: Endings and Beginnings, “The old must be released so that the new can enter.” Thank you Kali! Again I was reassured change was upon us and subconscious blocks were coming to the surface and karmic patterns were coming to an end. I thought it was amazing that there was an eclipse shown on the card (see pic above).

This morning I was ready to welcome in the end of The Eclipse Portal and I wanted to do something intentional. I decided to go to Mt Tabor to be with her magic and beauty. I wrote down 4 things I felt ready to release: Anger, Intensity, Judgement and Doubt. I put the tiny pieces of paper in my pocket and headed to Mt Tabor. As I walked, I pulled out a piece of paper, waited until the right tree called to me, made a small hole in the dirt with a stick, and buried what I was ready to release. As I released Anger, I prayed to receive JOY. As I released Intensity, I prayed to receive LIGHTNESS. As I released Judgement, I prayed to receive LOVE. As I released Doubt, I prayed to receive TRUST. After each burial, I felt lighter and happier. The love and tears were right at the surface. I passed a group of women birding and I felt immense love for them. I saw a man and felt so much love and gratitude for the Masculine, I started to cry. As I was nearing the end, I said a little prayer inviting a sign from Spirit but also stated I didn’t need one because I felt so connected; the JOY and LOVE in my heart heart was all affirmation I needed. I came across some volunteer lemon verbena plant and admired their healing gifts and pinched off a leaf to press it’s oils into my hands. I then looked up as a hawk flew overhead. Thank you Father Spirit…your message has been received.

As I type, a Saint Francis of Assisi candle lights the darkness next to me; a gift from a friend. I feel renewed. I’m reminded that there is so much we are not supposed to know and yet love, insight and signs are all around us. As we close this Eclipse Portal, I am ready for these new heights of expansion, growth and change.

Thank you for taking the time to read my reflections and blessings to you on your journey!

Magic of Tidying

I just read this zen, tidying sensational.  I love cleaning.  So when a friend mentioned this book to me 2 years ago, I didn’t think twice about reading it.  Recently, I was talking with a client about the state of her house; I got the sense that further healing was stunted because her home was too full and unorganized.  She mentioned she had read this book and knew what she needed to do but had only completed her clothes and got derailed when she got to her books (more on the particulars later).  Then, I had another client who admittedly said the excessive state of her home was 80% of her stress.  I knew I could do all the fabulous healing work with her at my office but the moment she stepped back into her home, she would be once again consumed, preventing sustainable results.  So I told her she could hire me to clean her house.

Let me give you a little background on my relationship to cleaning.  I’ve been cleaning since my earliest memories and I wouldn’t be surprised, if I was tidying in my mother’s womb.  Half joking…but it’s a whole other conversation.

Growing up with my 4 sisters and single mother, I learned early on that cleaning would make my mother less stressed and happier. But that wasn’t my sole reason to clean.  I found great satisfaction in cleaning. I can picture my childhood room: freshly vacuumed lines in the carpet, my closet neatly organized; hangers equally spaced apart with all clothing facing the same direction, my stuffed animals carefully placed; making sure they looked comfortable (sometimes this meant my bunny would move next to a different furry friend.  I loved that bunny so much!  My mother gifted her to me after I fell off our swing set, landed on my face, and got 6 stitches.).  I got bored of my endlessly organized room so I would clean my younger sister’s room.  I swear it was the antithesis of my room and I loved tackling her room when she would grant me permission.  I can still picture her childhood room: blackout curtains, smell of a hamster cage, clothes covering every inch of the floor, closet bursting with boxes of baseball cards and hanging branded t-shirts.  It was a glorious nightmare and so satisfying to clean!  To her redemption, she now keeps a tidy house, while raising her 3 boys.

To paint the picture a little more…  I would fake being sick to stay home to clean.  I’m pretty sure my mom let me stay home because she knew she would get a clean house out of it.  Looking back, I see that I got so overwhelmed with school/life that I needed 3-4 sick (mental health) days a month.  I had made a reputation in our small town of 1,000 and was hired to help clean people’s homes.  I still laugh about when I was hired by a hippy artist to clean his house and studio.  My first day on the job, I cleaned out his fridge.  I was disgusted by all the moldy cheese he had and swiftly discarded it for him.  The next time I came back, he told me not to throw out his cheese, with no explanation.  It took my moving to Portland in my early 20’s to experience the delight of eating moldy cheese.  Ah, I get it now!  Sorry, “The Dude”; he looked just like Jeff Bridges in The Big Lebowski.  

Now back to my present day client.  She decided to hire me and to prepare, I decided to finally read, The life-changing magic of tidying up; the Japanese art of decluttering and organizing by Marie Kondo.  Let me start by saying if you haven’t read it, see if you can borrow if from a friend or the library as it’s worth a read.  It came out in 2014 and it generated a lot of buzz.  Like usual, I’m about 2 plus years behind the trend as I follow no social media or news.  Nonetheless, it’s crossed my radar and certainly (re)sparked my interest in helping clear and create sacred space in people’s homes.

There’s a lot to say about this little decluttering book.  My intention of this blog is to promote Marie’s book and to diversify my services by now offering professional house clearing.

As a bonus, I’ll share my tip on how to equally space out your hangers: spread your fingers (forget your thumb) of one hand and place over the hangers, then pinch your fingers together, moving the hangers to a finger width apart and continue on down the line. I just did it, in my now adult closet, and I’m still brimming with joy.  It’s been probably 20 years since I’ve let myself perform this clever, tidying maneuver. It’s not trademarked so feel free!

More to come…

The blind leading the blind

I was staring out the second floor windows of Prasad East ,waiting for my lunch, when I saw a visually impaired man trying to cross NE 12th and Couch.  Using his walking cane, he stepped out into oncoming traffic and a car swerved to miss him.  He then stepped back, grabbed his head, made fists with his hands and started to shake is arms.  His timing and sense of direction were misguiding him and he once again stepped out into oncoming traffic.  It took me about 20 seconds to realize he was in trouble.  It took me another 10 seconds to realize he needed MY help!

Two stories up, I yelled, “no, no” but what good was that as I was behind a wall of glass.  Now I was in a panic!  I grabbed my phone and wallet and threw it behind the cash register yelling, “I need to go help someone!”.  I ran downstairs and darted across traffic, knowing my eyes could get me safely across.  Even though my intention was to help, I prevented myself from reaching out to touch him as I didn’t want to assume he would be okay with that.  Instead I used my alarmed voice asking, “can I help you?”  He responded, “I’m not sure if I should even try to cross the street, it’s too busy and I think it’s best I just sleep the night here.”  What?!  Sleep the night here, at NE 12th and Couch!?  He was in such a state of panic that perhaps retreating and camping on the sidewalk seemed like the more sensible thing to do than cross the street.  His backpack was falling off one shoulder and I wanted so desperately to pull it back up, securing it on his shoulder, but again, I resisted this urge.  I then asked where he was going and he told me he was trying to catch the bus line 20.  Thank goodness because the bus stop was just on the other side of the street.

After a bit more fumbling and uncertainty, the walk sign signaled and I verbally guided him to the cross walk and across this street.  I wasn’t sure if I should give him my arm to lead him as I’ve seen others do leading vision impaired people.  Again, he was a complete stranger and I didn’t want to impose or offend.

We got to the bus stop and there was an elderly gentleman sitting inside.  I asked if bus line 20 came here.  He said, “yes” just as I looked up to read bus line 20 on the sign.  This elderly gentleman had missing teeth, wore a pocket protector and was overdressed for the 80 degree weather we were heaving.  Nonetheless, I trusted him immensely and asked if he would help this man board bus line 20.  He said, “yes” again and I asked the visually impaired man if he wanted sit to wait and he said “no, thank you.”  And just like that, I left the two men, walked myself south a block then west a block, through the double doors, back up the stair well and to my seat where my food was waiting.

I sat down and looked out at the same scene I left: a visually impaired man standing with his white walking cane and an elderly gentleman sitting at the bus stop.  Not even a minute passed, and I began eating and resuming my daydreaming.  Then in another minute, bus line 20 came and I looked down and saw the elderly gentleman walking with his cane, guiding the visually impaired man to the bus.  Instantly, I was overcome with emotion and began to sob.  I was overcome with this evidence that humanity is good.  I was moved by this elderly gentleman guiding this visually impaired man, both relying on canes.  I was overcome with curiosity of why this elderly gentleman was able to put his hand on the visually impaired man’s back, when I was too worry to touch him.  I was overwhelmed with how fast it all happened.  Perhaps 4 minutes in total from witnessing, to helping, back to witnessing.  As the men rode off on bus line 20, I sat sobbing unable to eat my lunch, unsure what all just happen, and yet, definitely impacted.

Looking back now hours later, I see that it was a classic case of the blind leading the blind.  I didn’t know what I was doing.  I’d never helped a visually impaired person before.  Here’s what I’ve learned since, 3 A’s: Approach, Ask, Assist

Approach: if you suspect someone may need a hand, walk up, greet them and identify yourself.

Ask: “Would you like some help?” The person will accept your offer or tell you if they don’t require assistance.

Assist: listen to the reply and assist as required. Not all people who are blind or vision impaired will want assistance – don’t be offended if your assistance is not required.

Here also shows you how to offer your arm to guide a person who is visually impaired

I instinctively got the 3 A’s right: Approach, Ask, Assist. and now I know it is every bit appropriate for a sight-seeing person offer their arm to a visually impaired person.  Like the age-old phase goes, when in doubt, ASK!  By all means, listen to your heart and instincts AND go the extra mile to check in with the other person.  Be okay with hearing, “no.”   It doesn’t mean your heart or instincts were wrong.  I can pretty much guarantee that the elderly gentleman didn’t not ask for permission to put his hand on the back of the visually impaired.  Perhaps this is one of the luxuries of being an elderly, they don’t get caught up in the minutia of life, they can look past all the formalities and purely live from their heart.

Hummingbird Lane

A path well beaten, yet nameless, so I began calling it ‘Hummingbird Lane’.  Now years later, friends and family have followed suit and it bares the name, yet no wooden sign (yet!), ‘Hummingbird Lane.’  She really named herself, or I just pointed out the obvious, this path is home to hummingbirds.  I tried to sound smart one day (mistake #1) and asked a birder if she had seen any of the hummingbirds.  She said “no” and ask asked what kind.  I confidently told her “Roufus” (mistake #2).  Well the next time I saw her she graciously let me know these hummingbirds are actually Broad-tailed hummingbirds.  Thank you birder, I was a fool to be over-confident, though I suppose I did point out to you that the path you were on had these magical creatures.  That must cancel out my first 2 mistakes (mistake #3).

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Epsom Salt Bath

If you’ve seen me for a treatment, I’ve undoubtedly told you to take an Epsom Salt bath following your treatment and up to 3 times weekly.  Why am I such an Epsom Salt bath enthusiast?  Well it’s simply because of the amazing healing/health benefits of Epsom Salts.  Learn more here.  I suggest 2-4 cups in a tub for 20-30 minutes.  Be sure to drink lots of water while in the bath and following to replenish.

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Kundalini Activation

My first encounter with kundalini energy was at the beginning of 2012.  It started after a few months of a morning meditation practice.  I did not set out to activate my kundalini.  I knew very little about kundalini other than it being a yoga practice.  I was spontaneously thrown into the depth of discovering this unusual energy and no yoga mat was require.  Yoga and meditation can help to activate your kundalini, for me it was with meditation.  Once activated, it’s no longer a practice, it’s your life.

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